Devotional Message

PARENTS - CHILDREN'S RELATIONSHIP

We celebrate Mother’s Day in May & Father’s Day in June. Parents look forward on these two events where they will be honoured by their children. Both my wife and I have lost our parents. When they were yet alive, we remember giving them special attention by giving them cards, flowers or treating them special dinner in restaurants. In Ephesians 6:1-4, we see three ways of bringing up our children in the ways of the Lord.

I. Teach Children The Right Message

The apostle Paul says—“Children, obey your parents in the Lord" (v.1a). Children must be taught by their parents the lesson of obedience. Children are wired not to obey, they must be trained to obey. The Bible says in Ps. 58:3—“...wicked people are born sinners; even from birth they have lied and gone their own way." You see, you don't have to teach a child to disobey; he is born with that tendency in his heart; you have to teach him to obey. We read in Prov. 22:6—“Train up a child in the way he should go." The reason is simple. If you don't train up a child in the way he should go, he will naturally go in the way he shouldn't go.

Children must understand from the time that they are born that obedience is not an option, it is an obligation. Quite frankly, if you will teach your child to obey you, he may not always like you, but I learned a long time ago that although I desire my kids to like me, I demand them to respect me. It is not just for the sake of the parents that children are to obey, it is for God's sake. He said, "Children obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord" (Col. 3:20). When you think about it, that's the real motivation for obedience—to please the Lord. The primary responsibility of teaching right and wrong to kids belong not to the school teachers, but to the parents.

II. Teach Children In The Right Manner

It is not enough to teach our children the right message; we must also teach them in the right manner. That's why we read in v.4— "Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath." Now what does that mean? We find in Col. 3:21—“Fathers, do not provoke your children unless they become discouraged." Now Paul addressed this primarily to fathers because they are the head of the home; but it is also applicable to both mothers and fathers. We can either beat our kids down by staying on their case 24 hours a day or we can build our kids up. We can either discourage them or we can encourage them.

Parents understand the way we teach is just as important as what we teach. If we want to be a successful teacher to our children, model what we teach and teach it in a positive passion. We read in Prov. 16:21 "The wise are known for their understanding and instruction is appreciated if it is well presented.”

We can teach our kids one of two ways. We can teach them by being negative all the time, screaming all the time, fussing all the time, haranguing all the time, or we can teach them by trying to be positive, look for the good and not for the bad, look for the right and not for the wrong, and try to build them up not to tear them down. I can tell you the Word of God says the second way will get you a whole lot further than the first one.

III. Teach Children The Right Master

It is not enough to put a roof over our children's head. We must put the Lord into our children's heart. It is not enough to give them physical clothing. We must give them spiritual armour. That's why Paul goes on to say "bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord" (v.4b) Now what does this mean? This means we are to discipline our children when they are wrong. The word training literally means "discipline." Discipline is a mark of love. If we don't exercise discipline in the lives of our children; make them obey and honour us, and treat other people with respect, we don't love our children. Prov. 13:24 says, "He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly."

A little discipline early in life can save a lot of heartaches later in life. We are also to direct our children to what is right. There are two tools that God wants to use in rearing children. One is training, or discipline, but the other is "admonition." The word admonition literally means "to place before the mind." It means instruction or direction.

This is my encouragement to all. No parents can guarantee how their child will turn out. The best parents in the world will see to it that they have made a personal commitment to the Lord Jesus Christ, and in turn will help their children make the best decision they can ever make which is to surrender their lives to Jesus Christ. The best gift parents can ever give their children is a guarantee that they will go to heaven. If you, parents, fail to do this, no matter what else you do, you would have failed parenting one-on-one.

By: Rev. ELMER MANZO
Senior Pastor